i feel strangely empty now.. felt so horrible on the way home that i felt like just sitting there and cry. i know it sounds utterly stupid but that's honestly how i felt at that time.. and i know it's impossible to get you to understand how i feel and you would never see things my way so i just didn't want to talk but you took it another way. i wish i didn't always have to tell you things for you to know what i'm thinking. i was hoping so badly that you would be there waiting to surprise me cos you know how much i hate being alone. did you know that? but i guess she's right, i should learn to be independent but i swear this is worse than any fmaths or whatever. ha ha ha. walked home alone. you would have never allowed this to happen; feels like the harder i try to cling onto things, the more i lose them.
no one believes me when i say that. but no one has ever been me. ithoughtyouwouldalwaysbearound.butiguessiwaswrong.there'snooneyoucandependonexceptyourself.
